Sunday, August 23, 2009


I didn't exactly know what I should title this post...I just feel like I need to write out my anger and depression towards my parents.

Every year I do a ballet production of The Nutcracker with my dance studio, Coupe. I have been ever since I was in 2nd grade, which is the minimum age to participate in the show. (Added note: JJ's sis is also in this production...just thought I'd say it :D) Me and all my friends live on the stage, and The Nutcracker is basically THE biggest event of the year for all of us. Everyone, dance friends or not, knows this is important in my life. Suddenly today, my mom out of nowhere tells me I'm not allowed to participate in The Nutcracker this year...The only thought running through my head at that point was "WTF??" (and no, F doesn't stand for a curse, it stands for frig. I don't enjoy curse words/ swearing)

Ever since 4th grade, I've gotten really good parts in The Nutcracker. Yeah, I'm not all that bad of a dancer. I've been in above-average roles and some were even solos or principal roles. Even so, my parents don't believe I'm capable of doing well this year, and feel I should just give up. I absolutely refuse to stop performing, so when I told my mom that, she said I HAVE to get a very good role in the show this year or I'm not allowed to do it ever again. She stated that I'm not one of the "Chosen Ones" (our name for the studio director's favorite dancers) and that I'll most likely just get cast aside and be used for some meaningless part that anyone can get. Seriously, mom? I thought you were supposed to be supportive of my decisions!! The worst part is, about a year ago, I asked my parents if Icould go to an art program or something, either during the year or as a summer camp. They said a career as an artist doesn't pay the bills, so classes were out of the question. Just now, right before I started writing my angry rant, my dad said instead of Nutcracker, I should consider some ART CLASSES!!! Oh, so now he supports my artistic ability? Thanks a lot, Dad. Way to back me up at the completely wrong time.

Yes, I know, I'm sorry if my angry rant is annoying. I just needed somewhere to write all my feelings down, and what's better than a blog? Sorry, but I have more to complain about. I'll contain it to one paragraph, so if you're sick of it all, just skip the next section and continue on to the end :)

Anyways, I'm going back to the whole "Chosen One" thing. So my mom believes that I'm not one of the favorites at the dance studio, and I completely agree with her. I'm not super skinny, but I am a pretty good dancer. Just ask my ballet teachers. I'm not half bad. Sure, my arch could use some work, and I should really get my BMI to a perfect 20, but for the body I've been given, I've made the most of it. This year at summer camp (which was at Coupe) I feel like did really well in ballet class (and I was my teacher's favorite...which was good and bad at the same time) and I've improved a lot since I was younger. I was moved up once or twice in pointe class, and I'm in the advanced ballet class. What more does my mom want from me? If that's not good enough for her to consider me up for a decent role in The Nutcracker, than what am I supposed to do? If this sort of thing happened at any other time than now, I'd probably be bawling my eyes out in my room, with the dook locked and no contact with the outside world. However, I'm in a particularly good mood, seeing as I did nothing all day but watch Naruto on the internet and I just ate a chocolate bar. Yeah, great for a dancer. Anyways, my anger is now gone. Thank you blog, for giving me a place to express my feelings :)

So, on that note, I can now write about my day. It's a Sunday, so I went to church as usual. The chuch I go to is REALLY small, and especially small during the summer, when services are an hour earlier (they're at 9:30 as opposed to the usual 10:30). Oh, and those times are in the morning, just saying. I was at church this morning when one of our family friends asked me and my bro to help out with the Summer church school because she was having trouble with the craft (it was a God's Eye/ Dream Catcher thing and she had to have her son explain it to her. I don't blame her, I had trouble making those things when I first started em too). Only two little kids were at church today, so when she left, she yelled out "I need some big kids too!" Then, just like that, all of PYC (Presbyterian Youth Connection-kind of a youth group type thing) that was in the church sprang up and went over to church school. There were only a total of four kids who were supposed to be at church school (two of em are older-ish), and guess how many helpers? Seriously, guess now. Done guessing? Ok, there were seven of us. So, the helpers outnumbered the kids. It was pretty hilarious, if you ask me. Eventually, after the bible story (The one about Jesus rising from the dead, but isn't that supposed to be told during Easter?) two more small kids showed up, so it was six to seven. Still, just imagine it, seven highschool kids (Freshman to Senior) making dream was a funny sight. Especially when one of my friends was utterly failing :D

So, yeah. That's my life for now. I use the word "so" a lot, don't I? Oh well. I'm off to bed now to I'll blog again eventually. I get my retainer tomorrow and I have a doctors appointment :( Bye!

Okay, this is JJ who must point out that Basil is not an "above average dancer" she's an "amazing dancer." And just a little note. Basil if, for some strange reason, you don't get a big part in the Nutcracker (which I KNOW won't happen), never stop dancing. It's criminal for someone with your talent to do such a thing. Oh, and take up your Dad on those art classes. I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do with my life and at some point, I realized I kept thinking I was worthy of something better in a lot of situations. But if you love being on stage, then be on stage. If you love writing, than write. If you like art, then be an artist. Don't stop and think you have the potential to be a doctor, because you also have the potential to be an artist or a dancer. And years from now, when you look back, you'll be happy. And who cares if your parents are fuming in the background? They'll come around. They just want to make sure that your future is set in stone. But if it is, then it won't be as much of an adventure. And it's your life. Do what you want, and no matter where you wind up, I think you'll wind up happy. I haven't decided what I want to do with my life, but I think I've decided that when the time comes I'll do what I want. Without fear, without hesitation, without the push of my parents. And I think I've made the right choice.

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