Okay, well, this all started last night, when Flannie, his brother Matt and sister Emily, came over to our condo and we watched "Billy Elliot." It's apparently rated R for language, but they characters speak in such thick British/Irish accents that we had no idea what they were saying. It's a pretty awkward movie. It's about a little boy who likes to dance. His teacher's daughter has this really bizarre crush on him and so does his best friend who is gay and enjoys dressing like a girl. His father and brother are on strike in the mines and he doesn't want to be a miner, he wants to be a dancer. At the end of the movie, his father is a strange, aging man, his brother is taking care of him, his best friend has a boyfriend and has seen the world (and bought a man-turban as a souvenir), and he's a ballet dancer.
So anyway, after Billy Elliot, we started repeating some of the awkward things they said (or at least what we heard considering the accents were so thick). The next day, we formed a gang, The Blobs. We're named after an awkward British phrase that contains minimal vulgarity when translated into American. It was originally something else, but apparently it means something really bad in British-people speak and to avoid inadvertedly cursing out British people, we changed it to The Blobs. The Blobs consist of 6 people: Mancove, Squi, Cox, Junior, Bismo, and Almond. I will explain each nickname below.
Mancove: Okay, so you all know of my awesome friend Mango, right? Well, my awesome friend Flannie likes to call her Mangrove (and Mango and a bunch of other stuff, hence the cyber-nickname). So when he told my sister this, she replied with "Mangrove? Like Man cove but with a g-r instead of a c?" And we said "Man cove, what the fish are you talking about?" And her nickname became Mancove.
Junior: Well, Flannie's brother Matt looks just like Flannie. And since my sister had gotten a nickname, we decided he needed one. So he became Flannie Junior which was soon shortened to Junior.
Squi: Flannie has this profound ability to make an awkward squeaking noise. It sounds almost as if he's swallowed a dog toy. He's also managed to train himself to talk whilst creating this noise, creating a unique and original voice. While we were splashing around in the ocean, he started talking in that voice, calling it his squeak. It was shortened to his squi while we were playing microorganisms (That's a game in which we curl up in a ball and are completely merciless to the ocean, just like microorganisms. Flannie has this problem which prevents him from floating above the waves, so he usually winds up with a mouthful of sea water and my sister has a problem which causes her to float out really far, although we can't figure out what either of their problems are.) and that became his nickname.
Almond: My other sister, Nicki, is the tiniest thing you've ever seen. She's 7, but she looks like she's 4. I was talking to my music teacher about how she'd be starting concert choir next year and she thought I meant she'd by starting kindergarten. We decided her nickname would be peanut, but she didn't seem to like that very much. I said, "Well, you can be peanut or pistachio, your choice," and Mancove extended on the nut theme. Eventually, Nicki had chosen Almond and now that's her nickname.
Bismo: While brainstorming a nickname for Emily, Flannie's sister, many options were brainstormed. A series of connections were made. She wanted to be something like "caffeine" but Flannie rejected that. Mancove and I were brainstorming and came up with Pepsi which was changed to Pepto. Pepto was verbalized and then Pepto-Bismol was suggested. After going through many variations of the name and other random ideas which were eagerly shouted out, Bismo was the final name.
Cox: Last, but not least, is yours truly. I am big on movies and actors and such and am a reliable source for basically any movie question, whether it be about Oscar nominees or the status of the newest Disney Channel Movie. There's just something that seems to attract me to that stuff. I think it's the fact that it's one of the few things that belongs to America. We don't have Chinese people or Japanese people or Mexican people make our movies; we have Americans do that. American children want to be movie stars when they grow up because Americans are movie stars. It's something we do and something we do well. Hollywood is one of the world's greatest entertainment empires (although we have competition with Bollywood and such). But anyway, I know a lot about movies. So we were talking about 17 Again and I mentioned the movie with the Mowry siblings (Taj, Tia, Tamara) that was wayyyy better than the Zac Efron and Sterling Knight version, everyone wanted to know who Taj Mowry was (apparently no one remembers him) so I made a Suite Life of Zack and Cody reference which lead my sister to say "All the High School Musical characters have guest starred on that show." Mancove and Nicki are almost as knowledgeable as me because what they don't care enough about to go research, I research and then talk about it. I doubted her and named characters and actors for her to reference to prove herself. At one point, I said "What about Martha Cox" and she knew exactly who I was talking about. But since Disney failed at informing its audience of KayCee Stroh's character's name, everyone but my sisters turned to me and went "Who?!" After I explained who she was (the awkward breakdancing nerd), Flannie couldn't seem to forget her name. He kept saying "Cox." Not that I blame him, since it is a funny name. Since I had introduced everyone to the world of funny lastnames like Cox, it became my nickname, considering the fact that I "capture the very essence of Cox."
And that's The Blobs. We are a notorious fat-free, no-sugar-added, eco-friendly, chocolate-covered gang. We're almost as dangerous as coconut flavored ice-cream. But sorry, we're pretty exclusive. To join, you'd had to have watched Billy Elliot with us.
And yeah, we know you're jealous. Because not only are we awesome, but we have sexy pants. Yeah, we know you want them. But you can't have them, so ha!
Yeah, this blog post is drifting deeper and deeper into the depths of nonsensicality, so I think I'll leave before I drown you in my nonsense.
Goodnight!
No comments:
Post a Comment